Thursday, April 21, 2011


What is a friend? I can count on one hand the number of true friends I have in my life. There have been plenty of acquaintances who have drifted in and out of my life over the years, but really true friends, very few.

I actually think that as I am getting older, I am gaining new friends and I am truly grateful for their support and kind words while we find our way through this semi-chaos that  we seem to be in at the moment. One of my new found friends, a work colleague who obviously now I'm not at work I don't see, sent me a message on facebook tonight - a simple message that just said 'hows things going with you? - but it meant the world to me because I knew that she was thinking about me, and she knows that this is not an easy time for me. We passed a few messages, and that got me thinking about what a true friend is.

My Mum always said that you will know who your real friends are because they will always tell you truth, and because even though you may argue, it will soon be forgotten and you will move forwards. She also said that with a true friend, it doesn't matter how much time passes between seeing or talking, when you do meet up or talk, it will be like no time has passed at all.

When I was at school many many moons ago now, we had our little group of friends, and we remained friends through primary and secondary school. Yes we had our fallings out, but basically we stuck together, backed each other up and formed strong bonds. We left secondary school at different stages because some of us left at 16 and some of us stayed on in the 6th form and so left at 18. For a while we stayed in touch and met up quite regularly, but then our lives took us off in different directions and to a certain extent our little group disbanded. Towards the end of 2009, we started to find each other again on facebook, and so messages would pass between us, and we decided to meet up. So in May 2010, we arranged for everyone to come to my house, and we all went to the local Chinese for Sunday lunch. To be honest it was amazing - to my eyes not one of us had changed in anyway. Here we all were in our early 40's and as I saw us, we may well have only just left school. We chatted and laughed like we had never been apart. There was no uneasiness between us, and when the time came for everyone to go home, somehow we all knew that we would stay in touch, and be a part of each others lives in  some way - and we are. We still don't see each other all the time, but we are there for each other with messages of support and care. To me these are true friends - we stand the test of time without judgement on each other and with the knowledge that if we need help, there is someone there to give it. I feel very lucky in that knowledge.

I believe my Mum is right in her thinking, but I would also add that a friend is someone who knows you inside and out, and likes you warts and all. That doesn't want to or try to turn you into something you are not. Who can make you smile even when it feels like your world is falling apart, who will laugh and cry with you and who will set you back on the straight and narrow. But above all else a friend is there no matter what, and that is why, cliched or not, S is the very best friend that I could ever have and why I don't mind admitting I would be lost without....

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanx for stopping by and for taking the time to leave a comment. I love reading what you think of my posts.

Lou :-)