Non-Conformist....

I am beginning to think that I am probably the only person on the planet that isn't hyped up about 'The Wedding' this morning. That is apart from S and the children! My youngest, who is 11, said to me 'Mum why doesn't anyone realise that they are just another family?' I did explain to him just what the Royal family does for Britain as a country but he still came to the same conclusion 'they are just a family'. What can I say at 11, he knows his own thoughts and can articulate them pretty well!

My problem is that I know nothing about either William or Catherine. This morning on the news they said that William works as a helicopter rescue pilot - I never knew that! What does Catherine, sorry Kate do? Does she work? I have no clue! Apparently they already live together - I didn't know that either! And this is my point - How can I possibly get all excited about the wedding of someone I don't know?

Wills & Kate

 I pride myself on not having the mentality of a sheep and just blindly following the rest of the herd, and this is one of those occassions when my individuality may well upset a lot of people. I do wish the 2 of them a happy and wonderful day, and I hope that unlike so many marriages these days, that they actually do stay happy together - but I don't want to see it! Is that really so wrong?

A friend boo'd me when I said that I was going to the gym instead of watching, and asked where my loyalty was. I do have loyalty, and as I said to her - my loyalty is such that I consider myself English not British, and will always do so. S may well be a yank but I have no plans to become one - I just want to marry one and spend my life with him! Does that make me an unloyal person? I don't think so. Now don't get me wrong, I don't for one minute think that my friend was having a real dig at me with the loyalty thing more of an 'ohhh Louuuu come on, where's your loyalty' type thing, after all she is one of my oldest friends,  but I am sure that there are plenty of people who will seriously think that there is something wrong with me!

I did watch when Charles and Diana married, and when Andrew and Fergie married. I was highly impressed when Edward and Sophie got married on a far quieter scale - but it was as if I knew these guys! They didn't shun the limelight, and so the public were able to feel like they knew them - this isn't the case with William and Kate. After Diana died both the boys asked the public to let them live their lives in privacy, and the public pretty much did! OK so there has been the odd thing in the news, but for the most part they got their wish - but for me it comes at a price - I don't feel I know William at all, and so I can't really join in with the rest of the world and celebrate like there's no tomorrow - even is he is a future King of this country - I'm sorry if that upsets people!

Wedding....

I have the lovely Sarah Mac who's blog People don't eat enough Fudge gave me the inspiration to write today. If you haven't read her before you should - she is fab!

Anyway, today I read her blog about remembering her wedding day, and I was going to comment in full about my forthcoming 'Big Day', but decided there was too much to say, so it would make a better blog entry for myself.

S and myself have opted to wait to get married until I have my visa and the boys and I finally get out the US to join him. Primarily because we were advised that a fiance visa get processed more quickly than a spousal visa (I know it makes no sense, but thats the way it is).

Anyway, once my visa is finally approved and the boys and I fly out, S and I will have 90 days in which to tie the knot, otherwise US Immigration will ship me back out, and probably very unceremoniously at that! Armed with this info S kept saying no problem, we'll fly to Vegas and get married there! Hmmmmm, was about my only response - very romantic - NOT!

We then progressed from saying Vegas to saying in Vegas by Elvis! I would just roll my eyes towards heaven and smile sweetly at him - even more romatic - NOT!

Vegas Elvis Wedding

Then, as if it could get any worse, everytime he mentioned it, he would curl his lip and do his very best Elvis impersonation, and not a very good one at that! This carried on for a number of weeks, but then one day, out of the blue, my S found his romantic side and made my year!

Yosemite

Along with the whole Elvis and Vegas chat came - Yeah we'll do that cos we need to get married quickly but then I thought maybe we could do something that would be just for us. I thought we could get as many of our family together as we can, and get re-married somewhere really beautiful and make it really personal and just for us. I was thinking out in the open at Yosemite!

So yes - it looks like I will be seeing Elvis in Vegas, but then I will have something which to me will be truly romatic and beautiful to look forward to, and which to me will be the true moment when I become Mrs S.

Strange Day....

Today has been a strange day. The boys went back to school and I had to take A back to Uni. I hate taking A back. as she put it 'it's not like you really know I'm here when I'm home Mum, so you shouldn't miss me', and in a way she is right. At nearly 21 she does her own thing and I am not really in a position to try and tell what she can and can't do. These days it is more a case of asking her and hoping that she is good enough to comply!

However, even if she is off doing her own thing when she is home, I am still aware of her prescence as another adult, especially since S has worked away ever since we have been together - and her not being here now has left an empty space in the house-  another one! Thats 2 in as many weeks! Thank goodness the boys are far too young to even think about leaving home.

Spoke to S on skype a little while ago and he says that he has that out of sorts feeling today that I had yesterday. It's ot a good feeling, and were he here with me, I would now be holding him and trying to chase the feeling away - as it is, we did a little online house hunting, chatted for a while about nothing in particular, and he is going to call me back in a little while.

I think that tonight could be one of those when I can't get to sleep - daughter has gone, S is gone and is feeling blue - I am home and unable to do anything to help, which usually means that I will toss and turn and think all sorts of crazy thoughts, which utlimately does nothing other than make me extremely tired the next day, but there is something in me that just can't settle and sleep when one of my brood is troubled.

I guess that there will probably be a lot of sleepless nights over the coming months

One of those days...

Some days should come with a warning, so that you know that you should try and avoid them at all costs! Today was one of those days.

I woke at 7.30ish, and checked my phone as I always do to see if I had any messages from S. Then what I normally do is send him my Good Morning email straight away. This morning, I got up, went to the loo, got back into bed and dozed off again until 9am - Didn't send my email!

When I got up at 9, I came downstairs to make myself a cuppa, had a conversation with G regarding whether he should go fishing or not (he decided not) and went back upstairs. I jumped in the shower, then got myself dressed and started to do some ironing (the pile is monumental, can't believe I have let it get so bad!). Daughter A came into my room to ask me what the plan was for tomorrow (she has to go back to uni) and to talk to me about her packing. I gave her a hold all and said 'use that as well as your suitcase. Do not put clothes in shopping bags!' Then G came in to say that he had decided to go fishing after all, could I drop him at the pool in the village. I said yes, but he would have to give me a couple of mins to finish the shirt I was ironing. He said 'thank mum, I'll go and load my stuff in the car'. Still I sent no email! The time was about 11am I think.

At 12.30 G reappeared in my room and started wittering on to me. I asked him if he had nothing better to do than drive me insane with his inane drivel about carp and tench. He said 'but mum, I'm bored when are you going to be able to drop me off at fishing? It's been ages!'...I had completely forgotten that he was waiting for me! Still hadn't sent my email!

At 1.55pm I had my daily skype call with S, who commented straight away on the fact that I hadn't emailed him this morning. I was really touched because he obviously looks forward to them the same way that I do first thing in the morning! I admit to him that today is a weird day and that I am  feeling out of sorts and being the wonderful human being that he is - he understands completely, and even comes up with a reasonable explanation or 2 for why I'm feeling weird today. Anyway after 20 mins of chit chat we end the call and S says he will call back at 9.

I go and do a little more ironing (pesky school shirts), and then daughter A comes in to talk to me about needing to get some basic t-shirts for the summer, and said she though just some cheapo ones from the supermarket would suffice. So off we go to Sainsburys - she buys a few t-shirts, I buy hair colour and batteries - last of the big spenders!

We get back home a little before 5, and number 2 son H comes in through the back door sobbing his little heart out. He is soaking wet and I ask him what on earth has gone on. He says 'it's not cos I'm wet it's cos I hurt my finger mum' and he holds up his right hand on which the middle finger is rapidly swelling up and as H put it 'looking like it was going to pop!' He quickly explains that he bashed it playing basketball with his friend, but not wanting to appear like a wimp he soldiered on and went for a water fight with some other friends, one of whom bent the same finger right back - at this point H let his wimpy side take control and came home to mummy!

So off we went to A&E - which  was packed to the gunnel's and then some. Thankfully they have a separate children A&E dept - not so thankfully it too was packed to the gunnel's. Seems that every child in the area had managed to damages themselves somehow on this, the last day of the Easter holidays. We didn't fair too badly - in and out with an x-ray in 2 hrs. Thankfully there were no broken bones, just a sprain, so H was strapped up and told to take it easy for a couple of days; and after my forgetfulness this morning, I remembered to email S and let him know what was going on, and send him updates from the hospital!!!

Once home again, I decided to put the aforementioned colour on my rapidly graying hair, no problems there, but just as I was about to jump in the shower to rinse the colour off at the end of the development time, we had a power cut. Nothing terrible in that really until you add in the fact that my shower is electric, plus it was getting dark, and finally because it has been so hot and because most things in my house that use water,i.e.the washer, dishwasher etc, are cold water fill, I had turned off the hot water tank, so I couldn't even rinse myself off with warm water in the sink. I did panic slightly at that one - cold showers are not something I particularly love, but thankfully just as I was about to hold me breathe and jump in the power came back on and all was good!

Since that point, the evening seems to have gone better than the rest of the day. Hopefully tomorrow, I will be less forgetful!

S arrives....

It seems quite strange, the way I am feeling tonite.

I have just finished a skype call with S, who after driving for a whole week has finally arrived at what will be his home for roughly the next 7 months, until the boys and I get out there. After dropping him off at the airport last Friday morning, and going through the whole 'keeping my emotions under control' thing so that he wouldn't see just how desperate I felt, I have now just found myself doing the same thing because he has finally 'arrived'.

As S says the next stage of this journey is beginning. I have no doubts that he will wow his new employers with his brilliance! After all he is a brilliant man, in every sense, and I feel so very lucky to have him in my life. Unfortunately, he will still be essentially living out of his suitcase as it were, until we are together once again and find our new home - something he seems to have been doing for such a long time now, but at least he is not travelling like he was before, and, when the boys and I do finally get over there, it will be wonderful to have him home every night as well as every weekend - I can't wait for that!

It's the little things that you think about isn't it - like sharing a glass of wine together in the evening, and just being able to talk, face to face instead of via the webcam. To actually be able to reach out and touch him, and to smell him, and just be in the same room. And it will be so wonderful to not have to go through the routine of packing and unpacking every Friday night and Sunday morning!

I could write reams and reams about the things that I am missing and those that I am looking forward to - but I am sure that the ramblings of a soppy love-sick puppy are not really what everyone wants to hear - so back to my original point - Yes the next stage of the journey starts here. S starts his new job, I need to find myself another job, or something part-time to supplement the few hours that my boss is hopefully going to find for me! I also need to really  kick-start my clearing out of the house here - there is no point in moving stuff if it can't or won't be used, so I may as well get rid of it as we go along. I have got my holiday to look forward to in July (2 wonderful weeks together!), and S has said that hopefully he will have some properties lined up for me to go and look at. Once my holiday is over S will carry on the house search and has said that he will go and see the school that we have picked for the boys, and meet the principal etc. I just hope now that having found out which are the good schools and having narrowed the list down by areas where we are happy to live, that we can actually find a house in the right area. It is so important to be living on the right streets for the school catchment over there - it's not like here in the UK where if you live outside of an area you can still make a case to a school for why your children should be allowed to attend. In the US, if you don't live on the right street you can't go to the school you want! Once we hear back from the US Immigration Dept, and have a better idea of final time scale, I will need to get the movers involved and make sure that they are booked well in advance, and then I will also need to find flights and book tickets!

When I think about how much there is to do, some days it doesn't seem much and other days it seems like the list is endless. Still I have no doubts that we will get it all done, and hopefully with as little hassle as possible.

Now that I have dissipated some of my melancholy, I had better get some sleep - Easter Sunday tomorrow, and I have promised the kids that I will drag them off somewhere for an afternoon walk in the countryside!

Have a fantastic day everyone
x

Annoying....

I am English, and proud to be so, and I find it extremely insulting to have someone who is not English or even British to tell me that my use of the English language is incorrect, especially on St.George's Day!

I will explain...

I am attempting to learn Spanish as a 3rd language, and am doing so through a free account on busuu.com. One of the things that you are required to do as part of your free account - or even with a paying account I think - is mark the written work of other members in your native language. Obviously this means that I mark work from people who are learning English.

Earlier today I was asked to mark a piece of written work by someone on the flora and fauna of their country. In their work this person had said that the 'fauna was composed of....' and so I did not change this in anyway because it is not an incorrect use of English. The next thing I know, I get a message from a Brazilian who is learning English, telling me that to use 'composed' is wrong. Apparently 'composed' only refers to music, eg: Mozart composed music! To be honest it wasn't that this non-English person was telling me I was wrong, so much as the way in which they were doing it! Yes it was a typed message but everyone knows that using capitals MEANS THAT YOU ARE SHOUTING, so I am pretty sure I got the attitude dead right!

Needless to say, they have received not only a very curt reply from me, but I have also included a link to a dictionary site, where I have looked up the definition of 'composed' just so that I can hammer my point home a little bit more!

Photos....

Every day this week I have been sent some amazing photos by S, so I have decided to share a few of them with you.

Enjoy....

Art??? - Buried VW Beetles

Lincoln Memorial

 

Virginia

 

Memphis

 

Texas

 

Early Morning

 

Meteor Crater

Food....

Why is it that sometimes I can go for most of the day without thinking about food even once, and then on other days it is the only thing I think of?

Today for instance, here I am sitting at my computer waiting for my skype to ring and wondering if it actually will because wi-fi signal may not be the best today, and all of a sudden I think to myself - I need eggs! Hard boiled eggs to be precise, mashed and mixed with mayo and a little salt & pepper and made into a yummy egg sandwich!

Where does that come from - I have no clue...and my love of eggs is a new thing really, that has only developed in the last 3 months - before that if someone suggested an egg sandwich to me, it would take every ounce of control I had not to wretch and heave..now I can't get enough of them...and no I am not pregnant!

I do try not to think about food though - I'm one of those people who  are constantly battling with their weight, and I have 12 weeks now to try and find at least part of my LA bod, before I fly out in July. I do wonder why I struggle with my weight though (not that I'm really huge or anything). I eat a pretty healthy diet, I'm not allergic to veg or salad or anything, and I love fish. I take daily supplements to help keep me fighting fit. I can't stand McDonalds so Big Macs aren't a problem for me. I do love KFC, but when I do buy it, just as I am about to tuck into it, the skype rings and I walk away from it in favour of a much needed chat with S - so that can't be it!

Maybe after 3 children, this is just how my body wants to be and I should just accept it. However, my fitness trainer at the gym says that I am at the age where I should embrace fitness because I am at an age where I can appreciate it. He says that fitness is wasted on the young because they have no appreciation for it...I think to be honest he is trying to tell me - in a nice way of course - that if I don't get fit and slim down a little, I am going to die sooner rather than later....bless...he's as old as me, he should know to call a spade a spade and not try to coat it in sugar - far too many calories!!!

Anyway, enough rambling about food...my email has just bleeped...skype is a no go this morning, and so I need to make a phone call.

Friday fever...

Friday already....
I don't like Fridays anymore....
Fridays used to be the day that S would come home after working away all week and we would have 2 or 3 fabulous days together....
Last Friday I took him to the airport to fly back to the US and now I won't see him again for months....
So....
I don't like Fridays anymore!


In the absence of work to occupy my mind, I am going to spend this Friday afternoon doing something useful - I have friend who manages the local Cancer Research Shop in the town, and I am going to go and give her a hand in the shop - a spot of volunteer work! I used to do it many moons ago, and it was a complete blast. It is true that most of the volunteers in charity shops are over the age of 60, but my goodness they know how to have a good time.

 I never thought that sorting through bags of peoples tossed out and sometimes filthy clothes could be a source of real enjoyment, but I actually used to look forward to doing my bit for charity because I knew that I would spend the day laughing and putting the world to rights. Somehow now, feeling the way I do some days, a little laughter with the girls could be just what I need.

Of course I can't even contemplate going to the shop until after my video call with S, but spending the afternoon doing something worthwhile will make the time pass more quickly and stop me wanting to phone him every hour just to make sure that he is OK and making good ground on his epic road trip!

Friends...

What is a friend? I can count on one hand the number of true friends I have in my life. There have been plenty of acquaintances who have drifted in and out of my life over the years, but really true friends, very few.

I actually think that as I am getting older, I am gaining new friends and I am truly grateful for their support and kind words while we find our way through this semi-chaos that  we seem to be in at the moment. One of my new found friends, a work colleague who obviously now I'm not at work I don't see, sent me a message on facebook tonight - a simple message that just said 'hows things going with you? - but it meant the world to me because I knew that she was thinking about me, and she knows that this is not an easy time for me. We passed a few messages, and that got me thinking about what a true friend is.

My Mum always said that you will know who your real friends are because they will always tell you truth, and because even though you may argue, it will soon be forgotten and you will move forwards. She also said that with a true friend, it doesn't matter how much time passes between seeing or talking, when you do meet up or talk, it will be like no time has passed at all.

When I was at school many many moons ago now, we had our little group of friends, and we remained friends through primary and secondary school. Yes we had our fallings out, but basically we stuck together, backed each other up and formed strong bonds. We left secondary school at different stages because some of us left at 16 and some of us stayed on in the 6th form and so left at 18. For a while we stayed in touch and met up quite regularly, but then our lives took us off in different directions and to a certain extent our little group disbanded. Towards the end of 2009, we started to find each other again on facebook, and so messages would pass between us, and we decided to meet up. So in May 2010, we arranged for everyone to come to my house, and we all went to the local Chinese for Sunday lunch. To be honest it was amazing - to my eyes not one of us had changed in anyway. Here we all were in our early 40's and as I saw us, we may well have only just left school. We chatted and laughed like we had never been apart. There was no uneasiness between us, and when the time came for everyone to go home, somehow we all knew that we would stay in touch, and be a part of each others lives in  some way - and we are. We still don't see each other all the time, but we are there for each other with messages of support and care. To me these are true friends - we stand the test of time without judgement on each other and with the knowledge that if we need help, there is someone there to give it. I feel very lucky in that knowledge.

I believe my Mum is right in her thinking, but I would also add that a friend is someone who knows you inside and out, and likes you warts and all. That doesn't want to or try to turn you into something you are not. Who can make you smile even when it feels like your world is falling apart, who will laugh and cry with you and who will set you back on the straight and narrow. But above all else a friend is there no matter what, and that is why, cliched or not, S is the very best friend that I could ever have and why I don't mind admitting I would be lost without....

Phew....

Much to my relief, our kitten Maisie who I deposited at the vets this morning to be spayed.....is not...actually dead......It appears the vet just forgot to call me to say I could go and collect her!

Phew....


I should add that it has taken 2 attempts to get her to the vets because she is very adverse to being in the car. Last week, when my son tried to carry her out to the car, she completely lost the plot and ripped him to shreds with her claws! Kind of makes me relieved that we will not be attempting to move her across the Atlantic with us, and also extremely grateful to my sister for taking her off our hands and providing her with a home.

Maisie

 

Photos...

This morning I woke to several emails, well 41 actually, from S. Photo's from his road trip yesterday. I was really excited to get them, and so many of them, so I set about making a new folder to put them in and then went through the laborious task of saving each one of them into the folder, before finally grabbing the kids and excitedly asking them if they wanted to come and look at them with me...Why was I surprised when the response I got was..'hmmm maybe later mum'? How could my little angels not share my excitement at looking at photos of somewhere they have never been? OK so maybe some of them, like this old abandoned gas station are a little boring from a child's perspective,

I however am constantly amazed by his photo's, and am now wishing that I had not followed my common sense gene, and had said bugger the cost and gone with him for 2 weeks so I could have enjoyed the road trip too. Still no point in crying over spilt milk now - far too late for all of that..I will simply have to wait the 2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days until I fly over for 2 glorious weeks together in July!

Still the whole photo issue is one that I find a little upsetting. Everyday, I get on google maps and do a print out of his journey for the day, and everyday I create a folder into which I put the photos that he has taken and emailed to us. That way the children can relate the pictures to where S is and hopefully not feel so cut off from him - Well that was what I thought would happen! Seems I was wrong and they really couldn't care less about where he is on a daily basis, just 'when are we going mum? Why can't we go now?' I remember my Dad travelling a heck of a lot when I was a child, and according to my Mum I would stand and watch for him to return because I missed him so much - why are my children different? Perhaps it is because I was 3 or 4 at the time and they are 11, 12 and 20!!!!

Work...

I had planned on being busy at work for the next fews months until the move happened, but as with all the best laid plans, things didn't quite work out the way I wanted.

I have been working on a temporary contract covering maternity leave, and my contract ended at the end of March. I had been very open and honest with my boss regarding my move, and in a converstion we had before the end of March she had told me that while she couldn't renew my contract, she would do her best to keep my hours up as much as she could. Because of this we decided that there was no need for me to look for a new job. However since the start of April I have worked only 3 days and at the start of the school Easter hols, I was told that there would be no hours through the holidays, and that she would have to review the situation after that!

Now I am faced with the prospect of trying to find another job to keep me going until the move, which isn't easy. There seem to be very few jobs around at the minute and even less for someone who can't give 100% commitment long term because they are emigrating to the US. However, having made a couple of calls on Monday, I have received a letter this morning which says I have an interview next Wednesday. It won't exactly be a big plus from a career point of view, but if I can get it - a job is a job, and I won't be arguing! I just hope now that I don't fall foul of the 'you're too qualified' line, because I don't care how qualified I am - I just need to be earning so I can pay the bills! Having to maintain 2 homes for the next few months is not going to be fun - and if I can't find something, life is going to get tight very quickly. I can do tight - but I don't want S having to worry about how me and the kids are when he should be concentrating on his new job and sorting our new life out across the pond!

Ho hum - what will be will be I guess, and I did have a nice chat with my exboss on fb the other evening and she did say she would try and find me some hours if she could - so perhaps I will get lucky and be inundated with work!

I will keep you posted.

Can't sleep...

My mind is really buzzing tonight and sleep escapes me. Usually when I am on my own, I curl up on the sofa to watch some TV and wake up several hours later when the TV itself has gone to sleep. Tonight I made sure that I came up to bed before I felt tired and I just can't seem to switch off.

There are a thousand questions running around inside my head, the main one being 'How long now before we hear from immigration?' Will it really be as long as 7 months or is He right and it will be a whole lot sooner? I really hope so!

Then I question how much of the house I can get rid of and still be able to live comfortably with the children until the letter comes through inviting me to go for that all important interview at the US Embassy in London? There is so much to get rid of - everything electrical has got to go for starters. I know that some of it will go into storage in Dads garage until my daughter finishes uni and finds herself her first real home - but will she want all of it? I think things like the TV, kettle and microwave are a given but as for some of the other gadgets that have been collected over the years, I think that they are perhaps destined for a skip. I keep looking around the bedroom and thinking that I can get rid of half the furniture in here if I sort through all of our clothes and throw out the stuff that won't ever be worn, and then pack the stuff that will be worn but isn't needed now. Then I question whether living for the next months in a bedroom with nothing more than a bed in it and a single chest of drawers is really viable?

I really need to find a way to switch my brain off when I come to bed - thinking these necessary but inane thoughts at this point in time is doing me no good whatsoever! By the time I get the go ahead to book the flight tickets, I will have aged 10 years through lack of good sleep!

All I want to do is curl up and drift off into a deep and meaningful sleep where I can dream dreams where we are together and life is calm and settled - Is that too much to ask?

One thing is for certain it isn't going to happen while I am sitting in bed with my laptop turned on posting to my blog. Time to switch off here and hopefully switch off my ranting brain...

While we are apart...

While we are apart, we are keeping in touch via the already mentioned skype, email and phone calls. My daughter suggested that I write this blog as well, as a way to let out some of my thoughts and feelings throughout the whole process. She said it might even help other people who are going through similar situations. At this moment in time I have to be honest and say that I don't really care about what anyone else is going through, I am still trying to come to terms with what I am going through, what S is going through and what the children are going through.

I think that the children are pretty much ok, its me and him I'm worried about. It is fair to say that throughout the course of our relationship we have spent periods of time apart, but never as long as this is going to be. 7 to 12 months is the current waiting time for the Visa - who on earth decided that couples and families that love each other should be kept apart for such lengthy amounts of time? It's so unfair, unjust and any other un I can think of that seems even halfway appropriate!

We have a little routine going. When away from each other, I send an email in the morning as soon as I wake up to which he replies Sometimes he emails me before I am even awake and so my first email of the morning is actually the reply instead. Anyway, following this there may be several emails between us throughout the day depending on work commitments, and then every evening, we talk to each other via skype video call - sometimes for up to 3 hrs. We discuss each others day, any problems with the children and usually a whole heap of absolutely nothing, that means everything!

Now, our little routine has been thrown to the wind because we are apart the wrong way around the world. Instead of his being ahead and my being behind - I am suddenly ahead, and by a long way - it's very confusing really! I send my usual early morning email, but for S it's the middle of the night, and so there is no reasonably quick reply. Then we have our skype video call which for me is at lunchtime, but its early morning for him. Then when I go to bed, I have started to send a good night email, but for him its the afternoon. Then at the end of his day, he sends me an email, but its the middle of the night for me and so he doesn't get a quick reply. This routine is taking some getting used to, and quite frankly I don't like it, I don't want it and I reserve the right to complain bitterly about it! I don't want to be emailing and phoning and skyping - I want to go to bed together every night and wake up together every morning.

I realised today that both he and I have been worrying about my coping mechanisms for the next few months, and to be honest very seflishly I hadn't really thought about his. I was thinking 'it's ok for him, he's got his new job to take his mind off things, he's got a house to find, and furniture to sort out'. Then suddenly I realised - I've got the children here with me to keep me sane, I've got the movers to get organised, I'm surrounded by my friends and people who care about me - S is over there and whilst his family is in the US, they are spread out and not close to where he will be. He's got it far worse than I could ever have it. I've been sitting at home feeling sorry for myself because me and the children have been left behind, and yet the man I love may well be back in his home country, but he is totally alone...

Good Day Today

Today is a good day...not only did we hear that all of our information has been received by the company handling our visa petition, but having been told by them that the process of checking and collating everything could take a coupe of days, I received another email within the hour telling me that everything had been checked and it had now been passed onto the relevant government agency.!

Thats it we are now in the US Immigration system and are totally at their mercy. I just hope that when they get to us, they are having a good and stress free day, and rubber stamp our application in double- quick time. Being apart is a complete killer - knowing that it could be between 7 and 12 months before the children and I can move is even worse.

Thank goodness for skype, email and the telephone that's all I can say. My daily video call on skype followed up with a couple of phone calls through the day and then emails at night with attached photos taken through the day, are the only things keeping me sane at the moment!

I did take a wander down to the village shop earlier to buy myself a nice bottle of Pinot to celebrate our petition submission with, but it's not the same when you drink alone, and have to celebrate alone because the man you love is roughly 3,500 miles away.


Still perhaps he will read this little blog of mine, and know that I really am thinking about him every second of every day that we are apart! Having said that, the intention of this blog is to preserve my own sanity, by giving me a channel through which I can vent my thoughts and emotions on this journey through the US Immigration system, that holds the keys to my future, and that will hopefully take pity on me, my partner and our children and allow us to all live together in that land of opportunity known as the United States of America.